Baby in trouble

We had our baby. I knew it was a boy but I kept seeing a girl and calling him a her. He was in trouble and started to throw up blood. I was terrified and we took him to the hospital. They said he might now make it and kept him on machines. I left and went to someones house where they were holding a healthy baby and it seemed a million miles away. I had a feeling I needed to go to the hospital again and I ran there and found my baby and kept saying, "I can save her. Let me hold her! Let me hold her!"